How to Take Your Breakup From Boo-Hoo to Woo-Hoo
From her book, "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown" Updated: Nov 1, 2008
To survive a breakup you'll need a little help from your friends
By Lisa Steadman, The Relationship JournalistFrom her book, "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown" Updated: Nov 1, 2008
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To successfully survive and thrive after a breakup, savvy breakup survivors know that they can't heal and move on without a little help from their friends. And that's where the Boo-Hoo Crew comes in. Part cheerleader, part therapist, your Boo-Hoo Crew should be reliable, patient and consist of at least three friends for round-the-clock supervision and support.
The role of the Boo-Hoo Crew is to provide the following:
- a shoulder to cry on
- a voice of reason
- damage control (in case you get the urge to contact your ex)
- the bright side
Not everyone's cut out to be a Boo-Hoo Crew member. It's important to recruit only those friends who are up to the challenge. While assembling your crew, keep the following considerations in mind:
- Include only those friends who are loving and supportive.
- Exclude any so-called friends who might say things like "I told you so," brag about their own relationship, or ask if they can call your ex (in fact, dump these "friends" immediately!).
- Do not include any mutual friends who might report back to your ex on your progress (and/or dish about your setbacks).
During your slump, your Boo-Hoo Crew should be available 24/7.
There are also going to be times when you'll obsess about your ex, times when you'll want your ex back, and times when all you can think about is picking up the phone and calling your ex. These are the times when you should rely on your Boo-Hoo Crew for support.
You'll want to choose friends who know you well enough to know when you need comfort versus when you need a kick in the pants. Friends who can remind you of the nitpicky negative things you once said about your ex that you're going to forget when you're wishing you two were still together. Your Boo-Hoo Crew should always know (and be able to remind you) why your ex wasn't good for you then, and why he or she is definitely not worth pining over now.
When we're in post-breakup mode, some of us have trouble reaching out to others. We think asking for help is a sign of weakness, but it's not. It's a show of strength. So go out there and recruit the best Boo-Hoo Crew ever! (Right now.)

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