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Helping a Buddy Survive a Dating Debacle
Yahoo! Personals' Breakup Survival Guide
By Yahoo! Personals Updated: Nov 17, 2008
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Few friends are as valued as those who have helped you survive heartbreak. If you are the shoulder your friend is crying on, keep these things in mind:
Tip 1: Make time. Immediately after it happens, clear your schedule and be with your friend, ideally in person. If you can't, set aside time to talk by phone or send supportive emails. Let your friend talk, blather nonsensically and/or sob uncontrollably. If he/she is not talking, encourage it. Let your friend know that you hear him/her and understand what he/she is going through. The point of this exercise is to let your friend get it out and think it through.
Tip 2: Distract your friend. Movies, sightseeing, wine tasting, outdoor activities and games are good options. Anything involving physical exercise is particularly helpful because it stimulates endorphins, which can provide a sense of well-being.
Browsing online personals can show the range of options that are still out there for starting over.
Browsing online personals can show the range of options that are still out there for starting over. Timing is everything. Don't move on to this phase too quickly. People need time to grieve about the end of a relationship.
Browsing online personals can show the range of options that are still out there for starting over. Tip 3: Deflect dangerous behavior. As a responsible friend, your primary goal should be to prevent him/her from doing anything that will cause long-term damage. That includes reckless rebound sex, retail therapy he/she can't afford and major life decisions that can't be undone, such as selling a house or quitting a job. Counsel your friend to wait until he/she is thinking more clearly.
Tip 4: Practice tough love.
At a certain point, you need to stop with the sympathy
At a certain point, you need to stop with the sympathy and give your friend the kick he/she needs to get his/her life back on track. Warn your friend that once the relationship has been over for a certain length of time (six days, six weeks, six months, depending upon the duration of the relationship), you're going to limit the time you spend listening about the ex's foibles and virtues. Be honest about the fact that if the ex wanted him/her back, he/she would have heard from the ex.
More on Breakups and RecoveryAt a certain point, you need to stop with the sympathy - The Breakup Test: 5 Questions to Ask Before Giving 'Em the Boot
- Dropping Pounds Along With an Ex
- Heartbreaker 101: How to Heal and Move On After Breaking Someone's Heart
- 5 Don'ts Of Dumping: How to Improve Your Breakup Karma
- Surviving the Breakup Season: How to Mend Your Broken Heart
- How to Take Your Breakup From Boo-Hoo to Woo-Hoo
- Relationship Roadkill: 5 Ways to Get Over a Breakup, Fast!
- 5 Breakup Signs
- 10 Signs That He's Not the One for You
- 10 Ways to Heal Spiritually from a Breakup
- Spiritual Rules for How to Break Up
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